My breastfeeding experience

“Fed is best” is a phrase I’ve come across recently as I follow more and more mummy bloggers. It’s a phrase and concept I wholeheartedly agree with. But just because the rational part of me knows that fed is best makes sense, the emotional part of me that is severely lacking in confidence and self belief is constantly berating myself (bad grammar, I know) because my breastfeeding attempts “aren’t good enough” I’m going to tell you about when I first started feeding my second child when he was born two months ago.

I had my son on a Sunday and I was lucky enough be be allowed to bring him home two days later on the Tuesday. The next day, Wednesday, my mums friend came to visit. She kindly did my hair and was just generally giving me advice chatting and keeping me company. It came time to feed my newborn so I put him to my breast when I hear “that titty isn’t full enough, he won’t be getting enough milk.”

“Alright give us a chance to get going will you,” I jokingly replied but in my mind I was already nervous and feeling the pressure of being scrutinised…

“Have you been drinking water? Those titties should be rock hard, the size of your head and almost touching your chin. I don’t think you’ve been getting enough fluid, go and drink a pint of water now and pour yourself a glass of milk to sip on.”

“It’s only been two days, I don’t think my milk has come in properly yet. The midwife said-”

“Never mind the midwife! My titties were huge and my kids fed for half an hour on each side in one sitting. Aw the poor thing is starving. Keep drinking and you should be able to feed him by tonight.”

The pressure was physically showing by this stage as I frantically tried to calm a screaming, allegedly starving, baby whilst holding back tears.

My partner rushed out to by formula, leaving me to listen to this woman harp on about how shit I am (at least that’s what it felt like she was doing). II wasn’t fully listening though, instead I was having an internal dialogue desperately trying to remind myself that my insincts are right- my baby is fine and I’m doing ok.

I’m going to cut this story short and get to the point. The point being that every breastfeeding experience is different and unique. Just like parenthood and definitely like mothers.

I think I’m lucky that my child easily adapts to both breast and bottle. It did used to get to me that I can’t purely breastfeed but I know that if I could, I’d just be complaining about being nothing but a milk machine.

The most important thing is that my son is thriving. He’s healthy and happy and that’s all that matters.

Blogs I rate: #1

So since my last post I actually ended up taking yet another unplanned break from blogging 😦 this time due to illness; a fortnight of barely being able to move.

I lay in my bed thinking of my dwindling statistics and feeling utterly pathetic. But right up until last night I was still reading and discovering bloggers and their great pages and one occurring theme was taking a break.

From established bloggers who post multiple times a week for their hundreds of followers to the newbies or part-timers like myself, so many of you take a hiatus or suffer from ‘bloggers block’ it made me realise I am not alone or as much of a flake as I feel.

I guess I just have to remember that ultimately I am writing in this space for me; any readers, good stats and comments/likes are a bonus.

I’ve had the idea to write this post since the beginning of the year and for one reason or another it never transpired but I think the Blogging Gods must have planned it this way because what better time to share the love than Valentine’s Day 🙂

So, without further explanation, let’s get in to what this post was originally about.

Blogs I’m loving this month

Every Sunday I join lots of other  bloggers on Twitter for ‘chats’. These great group discussions are a way of bringing bloggers together to discuss a weekly theme of the host accounts choosing. These chats aren’t just for bloggers but at the end of the hour there is usually the opportunity to leave a link to your blog/website/social media account.

My favourite part of these chats is staying up long after the hour is over and perusing all of those new blogs! Sometimes a like or comment just wont do so this is where I plan to show some love and appreciation to those blogs that catch my eye.

Ideally I’d do one of these posts every fortnight but realistically its going to be once a month. I guess it’ll be  on the 14th of each month now.

Ramblings of Ms Mimi

“British/Nigerian, tall, semi-light female in her mid-20s, willing to let you into her world…..”

This straight to the point bio should reveal just how funny and real this woman is. I’m yet to read a post I can’t relate to.

Memoirs & Musings

“I don’t want this to become a typical beauty or fashion blog, even though I am interested in those subjects, I want to discuss it from a different angle – my angle. So the predominant category for my blog would be lifestyle, writing about my life and the styles I like through food, fashion, music, travel and anything else that crosses my path.”

The photos, the travel, the inspiration! This blog gives me life, lol.

And that’s it! Do check out these lovely ladies, it’s amazing where reading fellow bloggers’ work can take you.

Also, be sure to drop a link to your blog in the comments, you could feature on ‘Blogs I Rate’ next month 🙂

Thanks for reading

x

Back for good…for now

Hola,

 

So there I was, getting serious about blogging (again), really really promoting it via my social media and everything and then BAM! A major wobble overwhelmed me.

 

For reasons I’d rather not go into, I found myself questioning if blogging/writing/journalism was for me. It wasn’t just my writing that I was questioning but my life choices, if what I was doing and trying to do was for the best, not necessarily for me but for my child.

 

So I went back quiet on Twitter, I stopped posting my photography and blog excerpts on Instagram, I didn’t contact any of the people and publications I said that I would and I stopped ‘writing’ potential blog posts and articles in my head.

 

One thing I didn’t stop doing, though, was reading. I didn’t stop clicking on the emails from the blogs I’ve subscribed to, I couldn’t stop browsing the #journorequest and #bloggerswanted tags on Twitter or taking part in the many discussions by bloggers for bloggers on said network and I didn’t stop admiring the work of all of you beautiful bloggers.

 

And so it’s with that that I realise that no matter what I’m doing, I can’t not write…if that makes sense. Writing is my passion and whether it pays or not, whether anybody gets to read my words or not, it is something that I just have to do for myself. For my peace of mind and happiness.

 

I guess this post is just me telling any readers out there that I won’t be going anywhere any time soon and when/if I take another hiatus, I’ll definitely be back!

 

Stay tuned for more interesting and in depth posts, they won’t all be rambling rants like this, I promise! I’m going to stop questioning myself and living in fear (that my blog is crap) and just get on with it.

 

So I’ll ‘see’ you very soon

X

 

Resolution rant

By the time you read this we will be well into January and the novelty of Christmas, New Year and that ‘fresh start’ feeling will probably have worn off as we trudge back to work.

Also by the time you read this there’s a pretty high chance that you’ll have broken/ given up on those New Year resolutions you made.

But so what? You and I are not the only people to have failed hopes and dreams. I like to think they’re not technically failed anyway, just delayed. Last year not only did I make far too many promises to myself but I shared them on this blog and my social media in the belief that if I told people about them I’d have to push through with them.

But you know what? Nobody cared. Nobody asked me in January or February or any of the other 10 months of 2016 how my resolutions were going. All not being able to stick to my ideas did was make me feel shit about myself when I read back over them.

So this year I really, really haven’t made any. I have plans because of the path life is taking me down but I won’t share them on here because plans and hopes and dreams constantly change.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with making resolutions, in fact, maybe we all should make them. The problem is how many of us feel if those resolutions aren’t adhered to.

So I’m sticking two fingers the ‘new year, new me’ mantra and saying ‘Thank God I’ve made it to a new a new year, que sera sera.’